Sunday, September 28, 2008

Why Does the State grant Marriage Licenses without any evidence of proficiency?

Why Does the State grant Marriage Licenses without any evidence of proficiency?

Before you are granted a driving license, you are required to prove to the state issuing the license that you know how to drive. This is good common sense as a car can be a destructive machine when not operated correctly. If you do not know what you are doing, you can hurt yourself and others.
Does anyone doubt marriage can be destructive to human beings, families and society when they fail? To assume proficiency before granting a marriage license is to take a huge chance on the lives of many people, especially the children that are born into such a disastrous contract.
What is the purpose of a marriage license? Is it a mere formality? Is it a romantic fantasy permitted by the State without requirements just so they can raise revenue by charging a fee? Historically, marriage is the legal mechanism that permits property to be properly distributed upon death? The license assumes certain inherent rights and codified rules that shall be followed. A license to marry is granted by the State to the individuals wishing to marry, and it formalizes financial agreements that the State has codified.
I believe in most States, there are only two requirements before a license to marry is granted. One is that both parties are of the legal age for marriage. The other guarantee is that there be only one partner permitted at a time. Polygamy is not permitted in this country, although multiple marriages are permitted as long as a divorce occurs in between those marriages.
Is this really enough to grant a license? After all, a license grants certain rights. If you don’t like the rules of the license, you should not get married.
Why do we permit a condition to exist where the majority of marriages end in divorce in this country? The answer is complex, but divorce began in earnest after the State changed the rules about requiring fraud be proved before a divorce would be granted. This change was necessary because divorce degrees became very odious and a public scandal where human inadequacies were testified to in a court of law and made public to all. So now we have a condition called “no fault” divorce, which allows a divorce to be granted when one person wants the marriage to end.
But what about the children of failed marriages? Are they not casualties we need to consider before we so casually grant licenses to people who wish to be married? Why should licenses be necessary to demonstrate proficiency in handling an automobile, but not the potentially far more hazardous matter of marriage? Surely there should be more to it than just a revenue-collecting device. And if that is the main reason States grant a license to marry, it is a very cynical view of a marriage.
As a licensed Marriage and family Therapist who deals exclusively with marital and family issues, I would propose society establish more evidence of proficiency before granting a license to marry. I would like to see mandatory premarital counseling and educational course about marriage and family given by either the Church or the psychotherapy profession. I know many ministers and pastors who will not perform marriages without such thoughtful preparation. They take their role as minister seriously, and as with other sacraments of the church, require thoughtful study before solemnizing a marriage in their churches.
I believe this is responsible action on behalf of the Church. But it is not the church that grants the license. It is the State. You don’t need a church to marry you. So surely it is the State that is ultimately responsible to make sure a potential couple are competent. If we as a society are ever going to take seriously the downward spiral of family life in this country, we must eventually require educational evidence that two people are ready to receive a license to marry before the license is granted.
Is marriage a serious institution or is it the playground of the romantics? When Britney Spears got married in Las Vegas several years ago and divorced the following day, it made a mockery of the entire institution of marriage. Such weddings, entered into impulsively in a moment of fun, should no more be allowed than giving children a license to drive ‘just for fun’.
Eventually the States are going to have to hold the granting of marriage licenses more seriously than they currently do. This will happen when we as a society become disgusted with the current state of divorces and the human catastrophe that results. Surely some educational requirements before the license is granted would go a long way towards putting this right.

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